WLW Podcast S1 Episode 4 Transcript | Written and Produced by S.Sulianah | Winter Scribbler Publishing
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Do you guys believe in the concept of chemistry in a relationship?
The first started understanding that this exist was I Can’t Think Straight. If you have not watched this movie, I suggest you guys to go and watch it.
This movie is written and directed by Ms Shamim Sarif. The story is so beautifully written and the movie is so sweet, beautiful and will warm your heart. Talking about chemistry, the main characters, Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, both of their chemistry are really out of your imagination. They are both so stunning, elegant and they really carried the character so well that you could repeat the story over and over again. Not only them, other characters such as their siblings, parents, house helpers all fit so well into the storyline.
I have watched it like 30 to 40 times since it was released or maybe more because recently during COVID lockdown, I just watched it again. I can guarantee that you lovely birds will love this movie.
So, there was this part in the movie where the main characters, Tala and Laila, played by Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth were discussing about how they have no chemistry with their ex and current boyfriends while walking at a park. From there, I knew what is that intangible thing which I couldn’t explain what is it, whenever I am with certain people, doesn’t matter whether is a he or a she.
And this is ‘Chemistry’
The element of compounds
C8H11NO2 + C10H12N2O + C43H66N12O12S2
ESTP + ESFP
The amalgamation of your character and mine
The syncing of my thoughts and yours
The feelings we shared
Why, of hundreds of people
Are we the exceptions
Why you and me
Why our determination fits
Why our perspectives sync
That eye contact
How our gazes met
Those unmet contacts
Those magnetic actions
How our intelligence fits
When our counts are the same
And just us
The multiplication of our strengths and limitations
That subtraction of our strengths with our limitations
The opposite reflections of our likes
The square roots of our gestures
All fit well
We as one
Chemistry is something which cannot be forced in a relationship doesn’t matter whether in friendship, romantic relationship, relationships with classmates or even with co-workers.
Definitely at some point in time, we will experience these situations.
And then because of the awkwardness, at times we will to match ourselves with some people by forcing ourselves to do the things that they like, but eventually it doesn’t work.
How hard you try, it will be like a magnetic force that repel everything. Any words that you try to say, or anything that you might have tried start the conversation with him or her, about the weather or the news, everything will not work at all.
In fact, it will be from bad to worst. And during that moment, you wish someone else will join you in the conversation just so you could escape.
I wrote this poem when I realized that of all 10 people in that room, I will be attracted to that only one person.
And every time I will wonder whether is it because the person is very good-looking? Then, I will look around and see there are like 2 or 3 others who are perfectly more beautiful or pretty. So, I don’t think it is about the looks only.
When I wrote the poem, this kind of situation has been happening to me very consistently. So, I will ask myself what is this? And most of the time, I noticed that it is like mutual.
Recently, which was around 2018 and 2019 when I continued my studies. I was taking my Masters at that time. I will get bored when there is none of my classmates that I could you know have a crush on. It is not that none of them are beautiful or smart. But I don’t have someone who I look forward to see when I come to class.
Then, when another batch of my classmates joined us two months later, one morning when I entered the lecture hall, my eyes automatically locked on one of my new classmates. Listen, I don’t know her name or her personality. I have zero knowledge about her. She was sitting with one of my other classmates.
I couldn’t stop myself from looking at her side which I feel like she could sense it. But she didn’t really look at me directly. So since then, I will try to find reasons to start conversation with her. After a few modules, I could feel she knew it becos she did respond to my flirting and sometimes stealing smiles when she noticed. And then at times, we will just hold each other’s arms and hands for no reasons while walking with our classmates. Listen, we do not hangout with the same group of friends neither have we talked about anything or everything.
Just so you know, she is smaller than me but very fit and of cos smart too. Oh, you know this is so funny. During one of our games when a few of our classmates had dinner together after a module completion, one of the questions was what have you all done before that no one knows? So, her reply was she kissed a girl before. I tried to control my successful guess because apparently my radar is very well calibrated. In my heart, I was like Yes! It works!
All this while, I have been analysing and trying out what exactly is chemistry and how it works.
Is it something which is secreted from our body that the other person could also feel it?
Is it something that they can see through our eyes?
Is it something like attention given from someone to you and is very obvious?
Because what I noticed is that it is like a mutual response.
I am more focused on what I feel and observe whether the other person respond openly to it. But I have no idea if someone likes me and whether I will automatically respond to them.
Like for instance when I wrote this poem, it was about how I got attracted to one of my close friend’s friend, whom I mentioned in episode 1.
I could feel like there is somewhat a mutual response from her to my behaviour towards her. I am not discussing about whether she feels the same way because that will be out of the line. But the way she will also look at my side when I was not looking at her, or taking the opportunities to go out together with her boyfriend at that time. And how they purposely wanted to make my friend jealous and when I gave her something secretly, she asked me why am I hiding or who I am worried of?
And when we took pictures in a group, her body gesture and poses were towards mine and not the others. Is like close, close. Anyway, these are my analysis. And some of the many examples of how chemistry works in a friendship.
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Let us talk abit about how chemistry could fit into relationship between friends. I believe it is all about common grounds and similar likings that friends have with one another that could explain the meaning of chemistry.
Normally, after you chat with someone and share your hobbies, perspectives on certain issues, goals and dreams, then you realized that at times there will be opposite views.
I feel like what someone likes or not, has nothing to do with chemistry. It is common to have different interests between a couple isn’t it?
I find that chemistry is something which is not tangible. It comprises of feelings, the way someone is thinking, the aura, the energy when they meet, expressions and body language with one another.
Personally, my friends and I have opposite perspectives a times on issues we discussed but we could still hangout with one another. Another debated perspective on this would be why I could not hangout with other friends? Is it because we do not have same perspectives and interests?
Then what is the explanation when I told you about those individuals whom I mentioned? At one glance I was attracted to her but not those other 48 people in the room? Listen, I don’t even know her. What is that then?
Apparently, there are studies done related to chemistry development between couples and in relationships. And one of them highlighted about the mutual interests, similarity in characters, values, life goals and intimacy with each other.
In which I agree only when the relationship has developed. But what about those first attractions? Can we consider that too as chemistry? Yeah until now, I still have no answer for these questions. If you guys have any perspectives on this issue or have experience this before, please share with me. I will be glad to know what is this?
By the way, in case you are curious what is that chemical formula in the poem. Compound C8.... is actually a chemical formula of love. I decided to use this indirectly in here to match the title of the poem.
While ESTP + ESFP are acronyms of one of the personality types which stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving, while ESFP stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving. What I tried to convey was how individuals with different personality could build a chemistry.
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Alright babes, if you have anything that you would like to share again on your experiences with women whom you were or are attracted to, pls do send us an email. And if you don’t mind me sharing to the listeners in our upcoming episodes, please do note it in the email. I would be glad to share.
Thank you for listening. And see you all in the next podcast which I will be chatting about a song written by Taylor Swift from her album, 1989!