This podcast episode is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.

Visit www.winterscribbler.com for collections of books, poetry and graphics by diverse talents of artists and writers.
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I am closing this season with a medley of six poems which were all written between 2014 to 2017. Since it is a medley, I will read it like how a medley of songs will sound like.

I am closing this season with these poems is because of how special it is to me in some way. And also, it is a transition to my new published book.

The poem Perfect Everything is specially written because I feel like it is not only meant for that one person I am writing about. In general, it is useful for anyone who feels like they are lacking in areas like looks, talent, personality when in fact they have everything in life. They have a perfect body, doesn’t matter the size or weight, a perfect face and organs, and personality that would appeal to those whom they will have chemistry with. We cannot expect that we will fit with everyone in this world.

This poem is my way of telling her that she has everything that any woman would want.

And also, if she needed a compliment, this poem is how I am praising her perfect look.
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Grasping Ice Cold Air is a poem which I wrote right after I told my ex-colleagues who are now my friends about my inclinations and interest towards this same person. This was like a generic self-declaration and I didn’t really tell everything in detailed. One of them was telling me years later, that she still thinks that I was kidding.
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This podcast is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.
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Anatomy, Shades of Platinum, Vena Amoris and Cheat Code were written around the same time. This was after four years of us not seeing each other. I came out with these from my perspectives of how I feel when she is now with someone else. Disclaimer alert that it is from my interpretation and how I feel.  I have no idea what she feels though. Never asked.
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I decided to name this poem as Anatomy is because of how our friendship is physical. It is like an automatic reflex where I could hold her hand whenever I wanted to and she will normally respond positively. Whenever I feel naturally inclined to intertwine my fingers with her, she does it too with me.

These moments always happened when I know our friends were not looking and we are out of sight.

Like I mentioned this happened after she is with someone. Vena Amoris is how I described the ring on her finger. I wanted so badly to tell her that time about how I feel but I know that it is now impossible. While I am saying this, I am surprised that I have the thoughts about telling her since years ago.

Shades of Platinum is basically her hair colour during that time. And since I have been into HTML coding for quite sometime, I love to use codes in my writings. So, I decided to use the colour code #8B008B. Maybe you can guess what it is that colour. Intentionally, I did not write the colour here just so anyone who is not interested to know  who I am writing about will not take the time to find out.

And lastly, Cheat Code is also again inspired by my interest in html coding. Instead of using the word space, I replaced it with &nbsp while <header> is like a metaphor for the main highlight of my day.
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When I was writing this book, like I said it was inspired by the gorgeous London girl I met at Delhi, India. And the cover page was like a representation of her.

And when I was compiling the suitable poems to fit this book, those which I had selected were more of the hi and goodbyes with the ones who I have met throughout the years. These women who had stolen my heart, but they didn’t know about it. That is why I am really cautious when I am releasing this podcast hoping that none of my friends and people I know, listen to this.    

And when I am planning this podcast episodes, I didn’t realized until now that about 40% of my poems which are published in this book is about one same person compared to the others which is maybe like one or two. And this one same person seems to be the one who inspired my second published book, Letters of a Thousand Speeches.

​To purchase a copy of the second edition of Masterpiece in Your Heart visit Amazon.com or www.winterscribbler.com


For any feedbacks and questions, email us at winterscribbler (at) gmail.com
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Alright babes, thank you for listening throughout the season. From the bottom of my heart, I truly appreciate it. I will be taking a break for a moment before releasing Season 2 which will be out by early 2021.

I am looking forward for your feedbacks and if you have anything for me to analyse, like song lyrics and poems related to stories of women who love women, pls do send me an email. All the best, Loves! And Stay safe.
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Thank you for listening. And see you all next year!

Hi, As you may have already know that our Season 1 WLW Podcast has been a success. And for Season 2, I am looking for individuals who have stories of your own to be interviewed or would like to tell your women love women story and experience in my podcast. Since WLW Podcast concept is dissecting poems and stories, you can share it many ways.

1) If you have written poems and would like to share yours and then tell a story about it.
2) You have a story. I will match it with the episodes that I will be planning.
3) You have a story and also solutions that you had experienced.

This invitation is open to anyone. No need to be famous or anything as long as you have a good story and willing to be interviewed. If you would like to promote yourself, your brand, your writings or anything, this invitation comes with those.

Women Love Women WLW Podcast Season 2 will be broadcasted by March 2021. Do keep in touch with me by email at winterscribbler (at) gmail.com by 28 February 2021. Thanks!


To listen to Season 1, it is available now:
Spotify
Google Podcast
Anchor fm
Apple Podcast

Podcast Transcripts for all episodes are available now.


#lesbianpodcast #lesbianrelationship #lgbtqpodcast #wlwpodcast #womenlovewomenpodcast ​

This podcast episode is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.

Visit www.winterscribbler.com for collections of books, poetry and graphics by diverse talents of artists and writers.
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Hi, I would like to thank you all for still sticking with me. And this is our second last episode for this season.

I have no idea whether you have heard this song called Secret Love Song by Little Mix. The first time I heard this song was when it was a played in a compilation videos in YouTube. The videos were about all the films related to women in love and I couldn’t even remember what it was. But the song fits so well that made me ended up searching it in Youtube. Then, I can put two and two together. It has been quite some time I noticed Little Mix for their music videos such as Move and Wings. But I don’t want to click the videos for the same reasons why I did not want to find out about Taylor Swift in the beginning. But then when I heard Secret Love Song, it just blew my mind and heart and everything. Then I realised that this song has Secret Love Song Part II exists. This was when I could relate to it 100% and become my ultimate favourite.
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Just so you know, Little Mix had themselves declared this song is the LGBTQ+ anthem.  In case you have no idea because my friend Harry doesn’t know too.

When at first, I heard this song, the lyrics made me a bit curious to know what is this song actually about. So, I went to search the original music video.
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Lyrics to Secret Love Song Part II by Little Mix

That is when I watched the music video which featured Jason Derulo, I was wondering whether this song is about a guy who falls in love with a girl who is married or already with someone? Since I was not satisfied, I ended up watching interviews about this song including that is when I found there is a Part II which Jason Derulo is not featured in it. Honestly, the part of the music video which appealed to me was when there is something about Perrie and Jade who are two of the band members of Little Mix. I didn’t know anything about Jerrie at that time. But honestly something about these two made me more curious.  I kept watching all the interviews. Then everything clicks together. That is why Part 2 is in my playlist instead.
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Let me be clear. This song did not fit any of my real-life storyline with anyone. I love it because this will be the situation if ever, I were to have a relationship with someone out of the norm and out of the society boundary.

But then something happened in Dec 2019.
This podcast is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.
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There is this part of the song which started, Every time I see you, I die a little more
and ended with I'll never show it on my face.
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Whatever I am saying here are from my perspectives. I have no idea what she feels. But during that moment I wish I could do more than just dance with her. I wish when she said you can do anything you want the hundredth time at the dance floor, she really meant what I thought it is if she does. If she doesn’t, I am glad that I didn’t make any move though.
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Well, I am not going to talk about this in this episode. But after years of listening to Secret Love Song, this moment finally feels real. And also, the other beautiful song, Think About Us by Little Mix, I feel like it is a continuation to the real-life story of Secret Love Song.

Every time when we are with that specific person, we wish we could do more than just be friends with them. We wish that if she feels the same way, we both have nothing to hide just because we are confused, or it is not right.

Sometimes, certain individuals are just so special that they have a special place in our heart that they are one in those hundreds you have met in your lifetime.

You wish that you need not hide that feelings just because you are afraid that you will lose her as a friend if you tell her everything.

You wish that when you are both in love, you need not hide.

You can be with anyone you want to be with. There are no limits and boundaries. You wish that if ever you want to hold hands in public or anywhere, you are not worried that people will give you a side eye. I mean like maybe you don’t care, but you also hope that your partner don’t care too what other people say.

I feel like the song lyrics in Secret Love Song are just straight to the point. There is no need to analyse any metaphor. Sometimes we just need that in life. Simplicity but heart breaking.

To purchase a copy of the second edition of Masterpiece in Your Heart visit Amazon.com or www.winterscribbler.com


For any feedbacks and questions, email us at winterscribbler (at) gmail.com

Alright babes, if you have anything that you would like to share regarding your experiences with women whom you were or are still attracted to, pls do share with me. And if you don’t mind me sharing to the listeners in our upcoming episodes, please do indicate it in the email just so I know which is only for my own reading and which can be shared to the others.
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Thank you for listening. And see you all in the next episode.

Talking on a medium like radio and podcast is one of my biggest fears. The last time I spoke in a radio was an interview by 938Live for one of the services I offered under my another company. I hated it when relistening to the conversation because firstly I hate my voice. Find it annoying to listen to my own sound. And secondly, I should had shut up more and not say hmm yes yes while the interviewer was asking me questions. This was about 10 years ago. By the way, the interviewer was hot and her gorgeous appeal doesn't help my nerves.

I decided to do this podcast during Covid-19 lockdown right after I tendered my resignation from the company where I have been working for 13 years. It is like one of my plans when I decided to run my own companies full-time.

Whatever I was writing in Masterpiece in Your Heart book which was purchased by my friends and relatives were like something which I did not tell anyone except for my ex-colleagues who are now my friends. I felt like a strong urge to tell the stories of those poems I have written. The overwhelming feelings bottling up in my mind and heart is too much that I need to share it in a podcast.

Those poems are written in words that no one could suspect who it is about or to be exact who is this "he". I am no Taylor Swift who could cloud those words with POVs of a guy or another girl. I will try someday but I just couldn't bear the thoughts of my experiences to be in a guy's POV. And anyway, I am a no famous person so I could write whatever I feel like it without the press or general public trying to pinpoint what or who I was writing about.

Creating this podcast was actually challenging for me. The steps to start a podcast is actually not that difficult. But to say it out loud was. In fact, when I was recording those, I feel like my voice is constrained. Writing the script was no brainer but to say it out loud wondering what if someone I know listened to this was making me felt controlled.

I did researched for quite sometime on how to produce podcast and the idea to read the poems and talked about it came when I was probably in the shower or on my bed. I guess apart from the reasons to promote my book and myself as an author, probably there is this deep desire for me to tell the truth. Instead of telling to my close friends and family, I decided to tell the whole world or whoever is listening to it.

The only person who knows about my podcast are three of my ex-colleagues, and one of them already started to listen to it while driving. He is one of the allies. And he seems to be proud that everything are very direct.

Season 1 which consist of 10 episodes are already out as at Dec 2020. I am looking forward to write Season 2 and record it by March 2021. The upcoming season will be about the new book which I have just published, titled Letters of a Thousand Speeches which is a prose poetry and mix with letters written to someone.

Ended my 2020 with a good note even though the year is filled with many unpleasant events around the world. I hope everyone out there are in good shape.

Women Love Women (WLW) Podcast is now available in Spotify, Apple, Google Podcast, Anchor.fm etc. ​

This podcast episode is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.

Visit www.winterscribbler.com for collections of books, poetry and graphics by diverse talents of artists and writers.
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Before I go ahead with episodes and episodes of telling the stories of the poems I wrote in Masterpiece in Your Heart and my new book, I guess it is fair enough that I would talk about the only one guy whom I really feel I like or probably I was in love with during that time.


This is not including the crush I had with my class monitor in my primary school though. I guess to be safe we don’t discuss that cos I was interested in him in some way, but I don’t think I kept thinking about him for years.

​This poem was written specially about him around April 2014 called “A Decade of You”

A decade
It has been more than a decade
Seems there are still layers of you in me
Though I had tried to peel off every minute of them

Every time someone mentions your name
I am speechless
Makes me smile

Every time I see pictures of you
My heart beats with no sense of rhythm

We never had been serious with this
Not official
Yet it seems you are the only one
I had my heart strings on
Till this very moment

When I heard about your parents
It was heartbreaking
I could not hold myself
I then understood

A decade

I could not stand your tonality
Your sarcasm
Those unpleasant words
That you imparted to our friends

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In spite of these
I was never treated the same
Like you treated them

Pleased

Your stutters
Your enthusiasm
Your intelligence
Your dreams
Your hopes
Your eagerness
Your efforts in your interests

Your smile
That smile I knew
It was always different for me

Your support and excitement
When I had the highest scores on my math test
Your smiles whenever our eyes met
Those times you glanced at me
when you passed by my class

Our exchanges of hi every time we were outside the teachers’ office
The handshakes and wishes when we were the top students in our school
Those glorious moments

Then
The distance
I do not know what it was exactly

Me and my dreams
Me and my ego
Me and my fear
Me and my what-ifs
Me and myself

I am not regretting that I said no
Yet I am still wondering what if I had said yes
Those possibilities that I could not imagine

I tried to untangle my heart for someone else
To get rid of all this and you
Over the years

I do not intend to turn back
To apologize
To say yes

I chose this way

Life, it says
One will meet
With those who deserve each other

This was the last poem I wrote about this guy who studied in the same secondary school. He was my classmate.

I think of all guys, genuinely I feel like I don’t mind if I ended up getting married to him. When in secondary school, he is like one of the most hardworking guys there. Okay, can I just say what I meant here. I believe my other guy friends are hardworking too, but since this is about a poem I wrote about someone, can you just give me some freedom to say something from my own point of view. I hope you guys don’t mind. I hope if one day my other schoolmates who are guys listened to this podcast, they will not try to debate with me that they are too hardworking, alrite? This is a poem written about someone I like, so I am gonna exaggerate here.
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So, this guy is like the most hardworking and smart guy in school. He can juggle between his commitment in our school band without affecting his studies and results. In fact, he will always be the first in class or top 3 in class.

One of my best friends asked me after we left school, she wondered why I even like him when he will always raise his voice to her or the others? Then I told her, when he talked to me, he talked softly and gently. He is not being abusive or anything to you guys maybe because you irritate him.

Anyway, just so you all know, it was a mutual feeling between him and me. Just that when he asked me to be his girlfriend during that time through our friend I said “No! For What?” Well, I replied to my classmate in a high tone voice.

If you are curious why I raised my voice, firstly, I was surprised, secondly, hello please, I come to school to study not to find boyfriends and thirdly, I don’t have enough experience to handle this type of situations. So, well.. hence that kind of reaction from me.

But I really respect him though. He still didn’t take it to heart and we still stole glances with each other or smile to each other when he passed by our classroom.

Most of the time,  I will find reasons to go to the third floor where the teachers’ lounge are, when I saw him going down, but I did with reasons like to pass attendance sheet to my teacher or submit classmates’ compiled assignments. Then, we will cross path and will ended up smiling to each other. I don’t remember we talked that much. Mostly smile only. Yeah, funny right?

There was one year for our N Level exam both of us were the top 3 students in our school. He was first and I was the third. That was like one of the best days in my life. Apart from being the top student, sharing that moment with him when we were happy was extremely a wonderful memory.

By the way, he was like the first person to order my first published book and I don’t think he reads it but well his gesture is the most important. He and another important someone were the first people to order my first published book.​
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This podcast is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.​
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When I wrote this poem, I just met our old friend who was his best friend, at the hospital. Letz call him, Zee. Zee was visiting his wife at the hospital cos they just got a baby. And Zee told me that this guy just lost his dad and mum. And that was when my heart breaks hearing about it. It had been quite some time I didn’t hear about him. I don’t remember social media exist yet during that time maybe facebook was not that popular. But every time I heard about him is when my best friend or some friends who knew about us will randomly update me.
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That was a story from 6 years ago. And now, we are comfortable to follow each other in Facebook and Instagram.

I wanna tell you a funny story on how I ended up following him in Facebook. Actually, I didn’t really follow him. We saw each other in Facebook under our mutual school mate’s pictures but none of us make the first move.

Then, one day in the train, I showed my ex-colleague who is now a friend, Harry. Remember Harry the one whom I went to India with. I showed Harry his profile and then tell him the backstory. Guess what Harry did? With such grace and without a slight hesitation, he clicked the Add Friend button for me. I literally screamed in the train.
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Basically, I can say that the universe works abit weird and many coincidences that happened in our life that we don’t understand. When we no longer have any interest in the person, we will end up seeing them at shopping centres or anywhere randomly. But when we look forward to cross path with certain people, for decades it never happens. 

​To purchase a copy of the second edition of Masterpiece in Your Heart visit Amazon.com or www.winterscribbler.com


For any feedbacks and questions, email us at winterscribbler (at) gmail.com

Alright babes, if you have anything that you would like to share regarding your experiences with women whom you were or are still attracted to, pls do share with me. And if you don’t mind me sharing to the listeners in our upcoming episodes, please do indicate it in the email just so I know which is only for my own reading and which can be shared to the others.
​
Thank you for listening. And see you all in the next episode.

Have you ever experienced situations when your feelings towards someone you like started to fade? You were alright when you were with them and then gradually, that feelings started to fade away. I have been thinking what could be the reasons, and only realized the answers to it recently.

This podcast episode is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.

Visit www.winterscribbler.com for collections of books, poetry and graphics by diverse talents of artists and writers around the world.
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For this episode, the poem accompanying this is “Fading It”, which was written in April 2016. ​

​The feeling that fades
Temporary

The climax of thoughts and emotions
Overwhelming at the first instance

Weeks of exploring
Months of carving

In years
Neutralize to abstracts

The wonder of its authenticity
Its shadows
The truths of it all

This was when everything was not clear yet. I have no idea about the possibilities of anything except following the norms and what is practiced in society.

This was one of those life phases when I tried to deny situations and reasoning it with, “but I am not”.

Over the years, I used to go out for movie dates, dinner, lunch dates with guys. And those were like when I was in my 20s to early 30s. I was at the stage that I even invited them to meet my parents. I mean they were fine, and those are nice guys you know like I would categorise them as if you are interested in them and bring home to your parents, your parents will approve of your relationship with these kind of guys.

But I kind of regretted it and promised myself never to do it again. Because over the years, I realized that this is not what I really wanted.
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When two of those guys talked about having a serious relationship and then marriage, and also another one started to talk about something serious, my replies were always like “hmmm but we don’t even know each other, yet”.

Clearly, they could tell me off by saying that, when we went out for over 1 to 2 years already, isn’t that knowing each other.

So, on the very last one, I remember telling myself to stop doing what I was doing and stop leading people on because this is not an experiment or things that could make me happy.
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I realized one thing though is that I am not sure at that time why I don’t feel anything when I was with those guys. I don’t look forward to meeting them again. I don’t look forward to doing new things with them. There was one even one time then I don’t even know his full name even after we went out many times together. I mean I know this guy nearly a year. Why didn’t I even bother to ask?

I cannot even recognise his voice after we didn’t keep in touch when he called me one day using another name.

Of all, I only bother to cook for one of these guys something is because he made for me a very delicious layered cake. I was not really into those dry layered cake, but honestly, that is the most delicious layered cake I have ever tasted made by this guy. Not even a single layer cake in the market I have tried so far tasted so soft and moist like the one he made. He is so good in this is because his late mother used to sell that for a living.

Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, there was nothing not good about these guys. I realised that eventually I know why I always avoided their phone calls. In the first place, I was not interested in being with them.

Then I decided that, the best thing to do is not to lead any of them on. Remember when I said that I don’t look forward to chat on the phone, it was like to the extent that when we were both silent, I will have to ask if there is nothing to talk about, we should end the call, isn’t it? Which normally I don’t say that to friends when we are ending our calls.

So, I believed that throughout these experiences, I am more cautious when going out with guys. I think I decided that I have to stop doing this right after the guy who made the layer cake. Normally, I will tell myself if this is not for me, just let us not waste each other’s time to go out and spend time with each other.

Then automatically, I will distant myself from them and will go back to focusing back on other adventures in life.​
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This podcast is brought to you by Winter Scribbler Publishing. Where reality and imagination turn into delicate harmony of scripts and illustrations.
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I was wondering that time why did I feel that way? From interested to not at all? And the reasons for me distancing myself is not because I was in love with them or want to be with them, I distant myself cos I don’t see any future with them.

When I was writing that poem, it was like still like a question I kept asking myself.
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Just so you know, the timeline is overlapping to when I got attracted to those friends or acquaintances is because it was still an ongoing experiences and process. Like I kept questioning and every possibility I accompanied it with denying and “No I am not” sentence. The last time I went out with a guy for activities and dates, was around 13 years ago.

And the last time I went out with another guy friend, was around 10 to 11 years ago when at that time I just wanted to make sure of my inclinations. I got the answer though like at least 80%. But after that I still continued with my analysis phase.
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From then, I understood why my interest towards those guys I went out with faded easily. While with those friends whom I have feelings for, never at one time faded. Gone yes, because of how straight they could be, but not fade.

To purchase a copy of the second edition of Masterpiece in Your Heart visit Amazon.com or www.winterscribbler.com

For any feedbacks and questions, email us at winterscribbler (at) gmail.com

Alright babes, if you have anything that you would like to share on your experiences with women whom you were or are still attracted to, pls do send us an email. And if you don’t mind sharing to the listeners in our upcoming episodes, please do note it in the email. I would be happy to share with the others. 

At the meantime, thank you for listening. And see you all soon.